Pain has become
The story of my life
With chapters like
Anger hatred and strife

I try to
Keep the faith going
Its quite easy
Feelings you keep stowing

One day
Wake up to find
I’m not anymore
A person I resigned

Love is complex
And simple at times
The hurts so unbearable
It only chimes

To solve
The riddle of my heart
Unfortunately, I have to
Take it apart

But, it’s all good
It’s all fine
Coz I know God
Will give me a sign

My will of stone
Is weathered but strong
It’ll last me
For long long lifelong

For my love
is true and pure
It’ll come back to me
Of that I’m sure

..

My love was not enough
Never knew when it happened
Tired of my busy ways
Her soul beckoned

She’d had enough
Of the neglect
The busy office
The emotional disconnect

All night long
I heard her woes
His misery and hurt
Pain down to her toes

But
Not anymore
She wasn’t bothered
Indifference was at her core

Loved me still
But didn’t wanna see my face
In unknown arms
She had found solace

But, I won’t give up
Not so easily
My love is strong
Not so measly

I Love You

Always have, always will

..

I know not what it is
This feeling from within
Something just feels amiss
Yang without yin

She is my heart and soul
The one I call mine
She makes me feel whole
Without the slightest sign

Her words seem strange
Stranger her chime
Unknown is this change
Unknown is my crime

Keep demanding

Keep up the pressure

Keep commanding

I am not human

I am your slave

Suffering never ending pain

After all I gave

Heart in hands

Bleeding forever

Wounds it’ll carry

Stupid little bugger!

I will have to change

Equality is a myth

Misunderstanding

I contend with

Yet hope remains

Slim it may be

Depression’s eating it

Like algae

Life goes on

Sunshine bright everyday

Eyes open slowly

Keeping heart at bay

…

If only passion
Would not be misunderstood
Its existed like it should

Is it not
Our nature to lust
In whom we trust

Better half
For life is what she says
But not a wife is what she prays

I wonder
How harsh lust must be
Existing between the love of we

The touch
Has been demonized
That now every emotion’s being prised

For purity
Of emotion she seek
Weird and twisted her ideals reek

Is love about
Closeness of two hearts
Or just concepts the mind charts

Love cannot
Be twisted nor skewed
For it is a potion the Almighty’s brewed

I don’t believe
That love is only heart and soul
For the body only makes it whole

But alas
It is all lusty and evil
Like I’m none other than the devil

Forgive me my love
I am but only a man
And have imperfections like only a man can

..

My mind clouded
By thoughts of my love
Pondering, as it got more crowded
Looking for answers from above

What When Why
All questions seemed waste
Everything had gone awry
The ignominy of my actions I faced

My legs felt like stone
I didn’t know where I was going
I felt so alone
Just the pain growing

Tears flowed down my face
The heart cried out for her
But there was no trace
As the wind just stir

The long walk back home
Seemed to never end
I could just roam
Looking for her at the next bend

But nothing transpired
She was gone
The truth fired
I sat on the pavement, withdrawn

My life had ended
She wasn’t coming back
The bullet in the barrel descended
My heart and mind began to slack

I lay there in the warm grass
With tears in my eyes
Waiting as moments pass
My heart stopped as I looked up the skies

..

I cant understand

Its me, I know

But she says otherwise

I wish I was not Me

I wish I was someone free

Love is all I understand

Yet love is killing me

Sucking the life out of my delicate heart

Ripping it to pieces and shredding those pieces finer still

Somehow each time I pick up the mulch that was my heart

I make it whole, alas minus some bits

I make it understand that its not your fault

All you do is love

But somehow, your love is misinterpreted

Somehow your love is not what it should be

Somehow your love ends up hurting the one that it was meant for

I wish I knew the answer

I wish I knew what to do

I wish I could love her and she’d understand it too

I wish…

I am boring..

I am passive..

I am miring..

I am irritating..

I am sarcastic..

I am lusting..

I am skeptic..

I am crazy..

I am egoistical..

I am lazy..

I am a rascal..

I am short tempered..

I am mean..

I am pampered..

I am obscene..

BUT most of all..

I am just ME..

As our minds were on each other..

It hadn’t been long..

Yet we craved each others touch..

The simple gesture of holding hands..

Was turned into an holistic experience..

Soon, I was kissing..

Her soft hands, her rosy cheeks, her delicate neck..

As the fragrance of her hair..

Entranced my body and soul..

I came to realize..

What heaven felt like..

I kissed her lips..

And all my latent emotions came gushing out..

I could feel that..

She was in the same state..

Whilst our lips played senselessly..

Our hands ran amok..

As if the symphony of our souls..

Was being orchestrated through them..

As we lay there..

Entangled in each others bodies..

I experienced true peace..

Absolute happiness..

I clung to her..

Like a child to a mother..

For her love meant everything..

And that’s all I ever wanted..

…

With this boring life of no worth..

With this dual existence..

With this mask I call ME..

With this uneven love story..

With this bickering over little things..

With this adjustment in everything..

With this constant flaw spotting..

With this treatment like garbage..

With this restricted authority..

With this threat of departure..

With this unbearable pain I carry for no reason..

With this cheap mentality of people..

With this amoral philosophy some follow..

With this bias I face everyday..

With this zero expectations game..

With this demonization of the human touch..

With this perpetual anger seething inside me..

With this opinionating what my life should be..

With this scarring of my soul repetitively..

With this darkness and cold I’m sentenced to suffer..

With this weird attitude I can’t comprehend..

With this weirder life I dont want to live..